Thanksgiving Thankfulness Role Call!

Thankful that my Mama don’t have to spend Thanksgiving in shitty ass Albuquerque, but instead Sunny LA with My two brothers.  I can’t go because the man wouldn’t let a brotha get time off, but she’s super excited so i’m happy.

Thankful that I get to spend Thanksgiving with The Hawthornes, yet again.  They ARE my fam and we are gonna put our collective feet into this Thanksgiving from the 5th Man Turkey made my me and Alex and Jessica giving Old Grandmas a run for they money on them greens.  

Thankful Avery took care of me with her Doc McStuffin doctor kit when I was sick.  She’s the most amazing, loving little girl on earth.  She’ll just beam when she sees uncle and I turn to mush when she’s just coloring and out of nowhere says “I love you uncle”.  I’m bout to cry right damn now thinking about it, but I won’t cause I’m listening to that new D.R.A.M and can’t be crying bumpin Broccoli!  

Thankful Big Nate, AKA, He-Man Hawthorne let’s me hold him and throws the ball with me.  He’s the coolest one year old in the game.  

Thankful that I’m still invited to the Rubios house for Thanksgiving, Christmas or just to stop by and say hello.  I’ve been knowing them since we moved to AZ in ’97.  I get Tamales even if I didn’t help make them and we all know that doesn’t happen, like EVER!  U don’t help, u don’t eat!  Mr. and Mrs. Rubio is how I wanna be when I get married!  They’re proof that marriage can be fun.

Thankful for having a dad that’s cool with having ridiculous kids who do and like dumb stuff.  He’s the best because no matter what we wanna do, as long as it’s positive and constructive he’ll help out in any way possible.  

Thankful for having a Mom who’s is the most passionate person i’ve ever met.  She keeps me in the know on whatever brotha who plays guitar she’s in love with, cat videos and all the Native info I need.  I also see where we all get our love of absurd humor and pettiness from.  She’ll text me just to say how much she hates the Colts on tuesday.  She’s the most loving lady and the world should be thankful Kathleen Johnson is in the world.

Thankful for having two talented brothers who are doing some pretty bad ass stuff in Comedy and Journalism.  

Thankful for having friends and family back in Indy who’s always around and ready to hang out, have fun and reminisce on all types of craziness.

Thankful for my Montana punk rock friends who are the coolest cats a brotha could ask for.  When I saw everyone a few weeks ago, it was like we hang out everyday, nothing changed.  That’s the dope friendships.

Thankful for all my friends in AZ for somehow still thinking I’m pretty dope.  

Thankful I found my way out of that shitty depression that was messin up my existence for so long and can finally see and feel what true happiness feels like.  

That was kinda real spit from ya boy, but now I gotta talk about the other stuff that I’m thankful for.

• That new D.R.A.M album Big Baby Dram.  Best album of the year!
• The Weeknd cutting that old dirty twist mop off his dome.
• Bruno Mars finding out he likes Morris Day and Ready for the World cause his new album bangs!
• Not having to deal with racist and stupid family members like a bunch of yall this Thanksgiving
• My new favorite Podcast Still Processing with Wesley Morris and Jenna Wortham of the New York Times.
• New Ryan Adams Music on the Horizon!
• Being able to wear shorts and go swimming on Thanksgiving if i damn well please.
• Talking to a gal who doesn’t have the personality of a rusty basement nail.
• Not having listened to that Frank Ocean Album.  
• Moonlight getting so much shine!  It’s a dope movie, go see it dammit!
• Pabst!
• Baseball being over and College Basketball Starting!  Go Duke!
• Seinfeld being on Hulu.
• Shows like Insecure, Black’ish and Atlanta being on television.
• The new John Mayer song  Love on the Weekend
• Having two places to go stuff my face for Thanksgiving #AllThePlates
• Watching THREE football games tomorrow!
• Not having to work Black friday, or as Target and Walmart call it now, come get these shitty 40 inch tv’s and fight over the last 20 dollar blender Thursday.
• Not buying cheap toilet paper anymore!  #GameChanger
• Having reasons to head back to Montana for a visit!  Even if they have weird brewery laws, but whatevs.
• Having a friend in Clovis where we can just quote Boyz in the Hood all day long!
• queso dip on a hamburger
• Finding out my mama is leaving the hell hole that is Albuquerque and moving to Vegas!
• Knowing I still won’t watch A Christmas Story this year.
• Having a black barber up the street from the pad.
• Not being a vegan during the holidays.  
• Babies just saying Hi for no reason!
• Happy hours that aren’t just a dollar off pints.  That’s bush league!
• The Big Round Orange Head joke…Look it up!
• Knowing deep in my soul that Sausage is better than bacon!
• Farting in public and blaming it on the kids who walked past.
• Having the plug for a dope potato salad recipe.
• Knowing I’m so close to one day fulfilling my life’s goal of meeting Mary Holland, Alice Wetterlund and Camille Smura!
• Knowing I’m the greatest Dominoes player not in Cuba!  Come see me!
• My friends putting up with a wierdo, petty ridiculous brotha after all these years.

Jessica Hawthorne’s Thanksgving: Mamaw, Native Heritage, Manturky and Love.

Mamaw: “This little baby named jessica is too beautifu and she’s gonna have a son who looks just like her in this picture someday” 

Thanksgiving.  An American Holiday where families come together on the last Thursday of November to feast and be thankful.  Many of you may not know, but I am a Native American; Choctaw to be exact.  My Mamaw was very proud of her heritage and this Thanksgiving I would like to honor her Spirit; you see my Mamaw passed away just 34 days ago.   

We celebrated Thanksgiving growing up—there was always plenty of food to feast on and I always enjoyed hanging out with all my family.  I knew what the school told me about Thanksgiving, but Mamaw always made sure I knew the truth about Thanksgiving.  The world likes us to think Thanksgiving was all about the Pilgrim’s first harvest and that they invited some Native American’s to take part in their bountiful blessings, but that is just a load of shit!  This feast was just the beginning of betrayal and ultimate despair for my Native people; which eventually resulted in the killing of over 90 percent of the Native AMERICAN people!  So why in the hell are we celebrating this awful day?!  Well Mamaw, with her infinite wisdom and love, told me it’s not about celebrating the day, but about celebrating our ancestors—those who fought, walked, marched, and survived the genocide.  It’s about reminding ourselves that we are lucky to be here and that every day we should be thankful for our countless blessings, but sometimes we all need a reminder of what we are thankful for and that’s what Thanksgiving is about.  

As an adult, I have tried my best to implement those thoughts into my own Thanksgivings.  Five years ago, Alex and I decided to host our VERY first Thanksgiving dinner.  We had been married for two years and quite honestly, we were sick of how our Holiday would turn out.  We would spend all day traveling to each parent’s home only able to stay a moment and by the time we made it to each house we had missed dinner.  So at the end of the night we would stop at some fast food place and grab dinner—on THANKSGIVING!  I was over it.  Not to mention we had a few friends whose family did not live here and I wanted them to be apart of our day and not spend Thanksgiving at a bar.

November 2012 marked our first Thanksgiving!  Honestly, I don’t remember a lot, but I do remember we had a lot of people there.  Thanksgiving also marked the first EVER Man Turkey, made by my husband Alex and family friend Du’Waun.  I laughed hysterically because the turkey was black as can be (the guys grilled it), BUT it was freakin’ delicious!  Man Turkey has become the life of the party and a cornerstone for our Thanksgiving meal.

Du’Waun and Alex  making the very first ManTurkey

 Each year as my friends and family move on with their lives; finding their own spouses, moving away for whatever the reason, our Thanksgivings have gotten more intimate, but have become filled with more love and joy than I could ask for.  

I thought last year was the BEST—we welcomed our son, Nate into the world a few weeks before Thanksgiving, Daryll (Alex’s cousin) flew out to surprise the family and my Mom gave the guys a run for their money when she introduced WOMAN TURKEY.  In case you missed it, Woman Turkey had boobs; she stuffed two lemons (with a nipple) under the skin.  It was EPIC.  My Thanksgiving is not traditional and I never want it to be.  If you find yourself at my house this Thanksgiving know that I celebrate you, embrace you and am thankful for you and if you’re my family or friend(s) that not in attendance,  know I feel the exact same even if you’re not here.  We are all survivors, warriors and together we will ALWAYS prevail.  

In the Spirit of Mamaw, I love you.

Jessica and Mamaw at Jessica’s wedding day.

 

East Bay Protests as seen by Bay Area College Student/Journalist Xavier Johnson

ABC7 News

Grief and anger struck millions of Americans around the nation in reaction to Donald Trump’s election win on November 9, which manifested itself in the form of protests against the new President-elect soon after.

I’m a student journalist for The Advocate at Contra Costa College (CCC) in San Pablo, California. The morning of November 9th, the energy levels in the newsroom felt like any other normal day. The energy shifted when my journalism teacher Paul DeBolt told the class this time period was primed for members on staff to truly do something special. All we had to do was go out and cover what was going on.

After DeBolt spoke to us there was a sense of inspiration and energy among the staff. We checked Twitter and saw there were already events to cover. There were walkouts happening by Berkeley and Richmond high school students and protests being planned in Oakland, Berkeley and San Francisco for that night. There was also the “Undivided” rally and march planned by Puente Club, La Raza Student Union and Associated Student Union at CCC for November 10. The Bay Area felt more united than ever.

Living in such a diverse community like the Bay Area I interact with members from all communities Trump has affected. The Advocate staff represents many of the groups Trump targets. Assistant Photo Editor Denis is an undocumented immigrant, Editor-in-Chief Roxana is Latina, Sports Editor Robert is Black, News Editor Michael is gay and last semester The Advocate had two Muslim women on staff.

Every day living in the Bay Area I interact with immigrants (documented and undocumented), Latinos, members of the LGBTQ community, Muslims and women from all different racial and cultural backgrounds. The anger felt in the Bay Area feels different because all the groups targeted by Trump are in one area. They empathize with each other and unite.

I covered the Oakland protests on November 9 and 10 as well as the “Undivided” rally and march at CCC. These three events I covered drastically changed and broadened my perspective. I’ve been thinking a lot about all the sounds and voices I’ve heard, people I’ve met and things I’ve seen. My brother Du’Waun was cool enough to give me the opportunity to share these thoughts and experiences on Webetterthanthat.com

I would like to speak about the “Undivided” rally and march first. CCC is a college campus that prides itself on a diverse student body  and that showed during this rally. Several students got a chance to speak; each speaker different than the last. Students that were either Mexican immigrants or children of immigrants spoke about Trump and his xenophobic policies and attitudes. There is a genuine fear that families will be torn apart and they will be greater targets for discrimination.

Black and Latina women, Muslims and members of the LGBTQ community also spoke at the rally each sharing a sense of uneasiness and, dare I say, dread. The consensus at the Undivided rally was clear:  Donald Trump is attempting to normalize hate. It’s one thing to read an article on the Washington Post about what Trump said about a muslims and my Latino brothers and sisters, but hearing voices of my own community and fellow students hit me, hard.

The protest on November 9 in Oakland was the most destructive Bay Area protest so far. The wound was still fresh from the news of an impending Trump presidency and people were angry. The first thing I noticed when I arrived at the protest was the tense energy in the air.  You could cut it will at dull plastic knife.  Even when things seemed peaceful early on there was still a feeling of at any moment this could get ugly. As the protesters marched through downtown Oakland, I’d overhear small comments that foreshadowed the escalation of the protest later that night.

The Oakland protesters were very much like the student protesters at CCC. There were people proclaiming that they would fight against a Trump presidency every step of the way, and like the student protesters, and The Dude, this transgression would not stand, man.

As the protest turned dangerous, several trash cans were set on fire, molotovs were thrown, photographers were assaulted and property was vandalized. Most of the people causing the damage were the Black Bloc anarchists donning all black ready to be destructive.  [to be clear, these Black Bloc protesters were in the minority].  As a matter of fact, many of the other protesters tried to police those being destructive to the community to prevent certain businesses from being vandalized.  I work at a organic cat food store in Oakland and they’re a nice hard working small business in the community and they don’t deserve to be messed with.  We got beef with Trump and bigotry, not healthy options for our feline friends.  

The media will focus on the destruction and angry faces rather than sympathizing and trying to understand why those feelings turn to action. Being in the middle of the craziness and talking with protesters helped me understand a lot of the protesters aren’t just being destructive because they are bored on a Wednesday night. The destruction is a way to make their voice heard in a country they feel that their words go in one deaf ear and out the other even more deaf ear.

The anger I’ve seen this past week in my community is real and will not fade away. Trump’s victory doesn’t just affect one minority group. The protests show that Trump will affect all marginalized racial groups and the disenfranchised. It will not be easy for people to just turn a blind eye anymore.  The next four years affects us all and we all have to speak up against the hatred from the president to your crazy uncle at thanksgiving to the dude who’s harassing a gay couple on BART.  Now’s the time to stand up for what’s decent and right and force change for the better in our communities.  It starts with us.

What’s Gonna Get Me the Side Eye: An Inblackstigation

I know that every black person isn’t the same and all that jazz.  “I don’t/we don’t do that” blazay blazay blazay stuff I’m not really here for; It’s jokes, but also saying black people don’t have shared experiences is silly.  It’s all in fun, can’t be think pieces and Neo-Soul albums all damn day.  Right?  Let’s chuckle a bit, shall we?  Here’s some of the things that will certainly get you the side eye and possibly talked about.

• Everybody partyin at a kickback and somebody talk about gettin a game of spades goin but you don’t know how to play.
• Not wanting to drink Henny with the rest of the brothas cause you don’t really like liquor and only drink beer.  
• Bringing micro brews to the BBQ knowing damn well nobody else ain’t gonna drink that weird ass beer.
• Bring up OJ Simpson and yell out “That nigga guilty!”
• Never seen The Color Purple, Coming to America or The Mack.
• Admit you voted for Trump.
• Got sriracha at the house but no Louisiana or red hot.
• Wearing some dirty ass shoes on purpose.
• Having a jacked up haircut or a bum ass line up.
• Not being able to jone back when you gettin roasted.
• Saying Key and Peele was funnier than Chappelle show.
• Not even being able to hit a two step.
• Saying Taylor Swift is hotter than Rihanna.
• Not liking A Tribe Called Quest…trust me on this one!
• Fair or not, saying you’re a republican.
• Saying All Lives Matter
• Not groovin when Back That Ass Up comes on
• Hearing Joy and Pain, Let’s Stay Together or Reasons and not wanting to sing.
• Not knowing what the difference is between between a 4.0 and a 4.6
• Not being a huge biggie fan…trust me on this one too!
• Letting white people say nigga in front of you without shuttin that shit down.
• Not having an opinion on the Jay-Z/Nas battle
• Not Liking Beyonce…Trust me on this one (on second thought, I love Beyonce, what was I Thinking)
• Imaginin Doobie in yo Funk!

The Post Election Call to Love and Decency: Not in a Passive way Tho!

As I write this I am listening to some jazz and drinkin some beer; a Heineken and John Coltrane’s Lush Life to be exact, with tears in my eyes because my country has failed me.  My mom texted me and said there’s gonna be four years of a dictatorship.  I talked to my dad and he said the sun will come up tomorrow, we all still have jobs and life goes on.  They’re both sitting somewhere between truth and hyperbole.  No it won’t be a dictatorship, per se but it sure does feels like it if you’re a person with some melanin in ya skin, and sure life goes on and we deal, but damn we gotta deal with something that we didn’t think we would have to deal with.  I’m just trying to make sense of it all.  

America chose to elect a man who is just flatout unqualified.  That’s not the part that scares me because we survived, through the grace of God, from 8 years of an incompetent and inept G.W. Bush presidency.  The part that’s scary is that Trumps rhetoric and election has given validation to a bunch of racists, women hating, homophobes who care more about not electing a woman and sticking it to the black guy than actual policy; it’s disheartening.  They’d rather vote for a person who says nothing but stuff an 8th grade online troll would say than vote for a woman.

I can’t call everyone who voted for Trump a bunch of racist assholes, but I can give the sidest of eye and wonder what the fuck.   

So we’re all at a loss for words, but let’s not be at a loss for action.  Let’s take this as a really fucked up growing opportunity, band together and change the trajectory this country is going in.  I’m scared because shit’s gonna be scary, but we can’t be so scared as to not take action and speak out like we’ve never done before.  I was talking to the homey Woodbury and we came to the conclusion that WE ALL are gonna have to be loud, fight back against the bullshit and be serious about it.  None of this “I’m moving to Canada” business.  This is OUR country and we can’t allow our home to be taken over by a bunch of racist, xenophobic, homophobic dummies.  We’ll make American great again alright, In two years when we take back the house and senate, and Four when we make Trump a one term president.  

Don’t be silent.  That’s no longer an option.  We can’t take this fight lying down.  If you see someone harassing another person, speak up!  If your crazy family got some slick shit to say about BLM or “The Gays” during Thanksgiving then call them out.  If there’s measures on the ballot that’s gonna better society and not bring us back to the pre-civil rights era, we gotta vote!  One of my best buddies ever just said it’s hard to shake off the bad.  And dammit if she’s not right; however, it’s not gonna be hard to take this pain and sadness we feel and turn it into something that brings us together for a better day.  That’s kinda the only option we have.  Tomorrow we wake up, sit on the edge of the bed and let that existential dread come over us one more time, get up to pee,  brush our teeth, wash our face and look ourselves in the mirror and say “WE have the power to change things!” Then call or text or message your friends, parents, grandparents and that crush you have and  let them know you love them and we’ll get through this nightmare together and then…then it begins!  WE START TO CHANGE THINGS!  We only got one existence so let’s make it a great one for all of us.  They can’t dictate who we love or care about.  They can’t stop us from getting together to share ideas that empower us all.  They can’t make us feel bad for wanting to help others or do right by the next human.  We’ll figure the game plan out sooner than later and that’s when we will be seen, heard and understood!  

One final note.  I haven’t been writing for almost a month because I was gonna change the name of the blog to something else, but after tonight this is the most perfect name I could blog under.  We are fuckin better than that, let’s prove it!  Love all around.  Also, I put on The Smiths after the sad Coltrane album because I’m still sad but it’s kinda catchy and the melancholy optimism of Morrissey makes me smile.  Goodnight.  

My Punk Rock Filled Montana Weekend

Here’s a few highlights from my Punk filled Montana weekend.

• Having a crazy crackhead ask me and the homie Damon to take her to the post office, and refusing to take no for an answer.  
• Having a treat yo self moment with Derik and Rachel and eating at this Fancy Pants Japanese Steakhouse Saturday afternoon.  Even had some killer wine!  I’m sure the dude thought we weren’t gonna pay.
• Everytime I went out in Bozeman, home of Montana State University, I made sure to rock my Montana University Grizz gear because my best friend went there and I’m an asshole.
• Learned there’s a three drink limit when you go to a brewery in Montana, but I had bison on my pizza so it was fine.
• Dapping up a couple of black crackheads when me and Rachel were going to the gas station for beer, but not dapping up the other brotha I saw.  She asked why I didn’t say hello to him and my response was, “because he’s buying a 4 pack tall cans of Cold-45”
• Drunkenly hugging everyone at the Friday night hang.  I drink and love all around me; then I pass out.
• Took one of the most epic group pics of all time with my peoples and my new peoples.
• Bought a White Justin Bieber shirt from Hot Topic in Billings for 7 Dollars.  I wore it to the show and I saw people wonder who the hell is this black dude walking around in a Justin Bieber shirt, but then saw my people and left it alone.  
• The Mall was PACKED!  I never would’ve thought i would see a mall not be dead these days.  Bought some glasses in H&M and was followed and yelled out loud “you don’t have to follow me, I don’t need any help” and it was glorious.  
• Shootin craps with Lil Chris and Jacob Clovis in the alley all weekend.
• Seeing Redneck Nosferatu absolutely destroy on stage!  Def one of my new favorite bands.
• Standing in Line at a random gas station and having everyone hate me and Jacob because we’re just reciting the whole football scene from Boyz in the Hood.
• Hearing the true tour story of how Jacob came to Poop his pants.  
• A bunch of us grabbed some food before the show at this steakhouse and who cared what was on the TV’s, we were the entertainment.  Those small town cats couldn’t get enuff of staring at our table.  I had chicken strips because i’m 9 years old.
• STFS was insane!  This was the first time I had seen brothers Damon and Derik on the same stage and it was cool to see.  
• Coldsnap-9 was amazing and I was surprised how much I remembered from the songs.  
• Had some pumpkin spice beer with lola and got my official white girl card.  Thanks Lola!
• I’d never seen a crowd go that bananas for a band before.  Montana for sure loves STFS and Coldsnap-9.
• This dude tried shootin me daggers because I bought the last small and he felt like he deserved it more than I.  Nigga please!  
• Went to Denny’s God knows what time, and didn’t leave till 5am
• Some random dude just kinda started hanging with our group and Audrey made him leave.  Then called me and Jacob pussies, but she forgot we were shooting dice with lil Chris when that dude came around.
• All day sunday was a wash; a “I’m too damn old to be out all night” wash.  
• Didn’t meet John Mayer, but did meet a girl who took a picture with him so I feel like I took a picture with him too.  Plus, she said she’ll take me fly fishing when I come in the summer time.  

This Montana trip wasn’t a typical Montana trip.  I didn’t go down to Yellowstone or go hiking and fuck with nature and all that, but that’s fine because me and my friends aren’t typical.  Made some new buddies, and everyone was beyond nice.  This weekend was 100% about punk rock, drinking ALL the beer and spending as much time with friends I never get to see.  Next time I plan on going up there It’ll be a regular vacation and that’s when I’ll do all the stuff you’re supposed to do.

One other thing this trip did for me is to stop finding reasons to say no to stuff so much.  We find every excuse to not do cool shit and that’s not good for our well being.  I have crazy anxiety, but being around  positive vibes all weekend, it never came out.  I was talking to strangers and I hate talking to strangers, but maybe I don’t.  Imma take this Montana trip and grow.  And listen to more Punk Rock!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

7 Things I Need to Happen During My Trip to Montana

So I’m going to Montana this weekend and I’m pretty stoked about it.  My best friend played football at Montana University, but I never made it up there to visit.  And somehow I made some very great friends with a crew of tattoo’d crazy punk rockers from Montana and never went up there; That all is about to change.  The aforementioned tattoo’d punk rockers are getting together for a one time reunion of their Montana punk bands Coldsnap-9 and STFS.  This reunion is gonna be insane!  Not only will the music be one for the ages, but this is the first time is many moons where Derik, Damon, Jaclyn, Eric, Cody, Jacob, Star, Lola and Du’Waun will all be together with a bunch of new pals, spouses, girlfriends, band members and some strange for everyone to meet.  

But there’s more to my first time in Big Sky Country than punk rockin it up with pals and drankin all the dranks, cause that’s definitely gonna happen.  I wanna see all the mountains and rivers and bison and whatnot; you know, fuck with that outdoor mother nature shit!  Here’s a few things imma need to see, witness and enjoy while i’m in Montana.  

1. Meet John Mayer:  Look, the greatest singer/guitarist of the past 15 years lives close to Livingston, where sista Jac-Attack is from and how dope would it be if I saw John Mayer at the coffee shop or buying soft cheeses and soups?  I’d have to get a picture and I’m sure we’d become like best buddies and i’ll play the triangle on his next album of duets.  Me and Mr. Rehmer are on it!
2. Go see a waterfall:  Derik posted some picture of like this super gorgeous waterfall on the interwebs the other day and I kinda got excited.  I’ve never been to the ocean, but I can bypass all that madness if I see a real life gorgeous waterfall.  
3. Take a picture on a real life mountain:  I’m a city boy 100%.  Went camping once, stayed outside one night and went to a hotel the next.  Went hiking once and all I kept wondering is when is it over, I wanna be around the city and all it’s madness.  I feel comfortable in the city.  As i get older, I’m trying not to be soo damn crazy and anti the outdoors and what better place to start than Montana, right?  Imma climb a mountain, rip my shirt off and stand there majestically as the wind speaks to me and says “Du’Waun, you’re the kind of the mountain now”.
4. Find at least 5 other black folks:  I just wanna give the black man nod to another brotha and if we get a chance to speak hit em with that soul dap.  Maybe Black Montana Legend Reggie Watts will be around and we can be 2 black weird punk rockers together.  
5. See if my city charm works on small town chicks:  Imma use all the lines the dudes from Waiting To Exhale used and see if they work.  Maybe a little of Morris Day from Purple Rain.  If that fails, i’ll just talk about how much I love to hike, pumpkins and country music.  
6. Wear an actual coat:  Living in Phoenix, even when it gets cold, a decent hoodie is all you need.  I don’t wear hoodies too much cause I don’t wanna get shot, but you can always rock the Gavin DeGraw beenie and still be in the game.  But you can never really find a valid reason to rock an actual coat.  Heading to Montana, I’ll finally be able to rock a winter coat.  I just don’t know if I wanna go with the vintage peacoat or something less dope, but more practical.  If I had one of those triple fat goose joints from the 90’s I’d rock that.  Pretty much I wanna look like Detective Torres from New York Undercover while in Montana. (Detective Moreno was Fine as frog hair).
7. Make some new Montana pals: I think it would be pretty rad-tastic if I made some new pals while down there giving me another excuse to head back up to Montana.  For some reason, people tend to like me so we’ll see.

This weekend is gonna one for the ages for sure.  Montana better be prepared for all this awesomeness coming from different states to punk rock it up, blast E-40, drink all your beer and hollar all the cute big butt girls in Montana.  The Pub Station is gonna be insane on Saturday!

Kid Cudi and the Anxiety of Depression

So Kid Cudi checked himself into rehab for depression and suicidal thoughts.  I pray the brotha gets the help he needs.   Being depressed is the toughest thing you go thru because you go it alone.  It’s even more tough when you’re not allowed to express your feelings and that’s how a lot of black men feel when dealing with depression or anxiety.  

Let’s be honest, it’s only been a few years, hell if that, where mental health has become a major topic in the cultural zeitgeist.  When I watch my college football on watchespn.com, I see the same super sad commercial about kids talking about their mental health struggles and how to get better.  This is a major step in the right direction; Now we have a clearer understanding that outburst, moodiness and destructive behaviors  are often a cry for help and something is really wrong and needs to be, for lack of a better word, healed.

When I read Cudi’s facebook post the first thing I thought was A: I hope he gets the help he needs and comes out a fulfilled and happy human who can exist in the world without fear of happiness, and B: That young brothas look at Cudi’s strength and, if they need it, decide to seek help for depression or at the very least talk out their emotions with someone.  Cudi said something that’s important to put into context in the FB post:

“Yesterday I checked myself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges. I am not at peace.  My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I can’t make new friends because of it. I don’t trust anyone because of it and I’m tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling. Why not me?”

Cudi didn’t write that for himself.  He didn’t even write that for just his fans.  That is a message for anyone reading it.  It’s brilliant because that’s how a lot of us have felt but never put it in terms of mental health.  We just sad or tired or just don’t feel like being bothered with people today.  Yeah he had to get that off his chest, but I’ll bet my last Pabst that he chose those words very carefully. Those words were meant for anyone else dealing with these warning signs of depression and anxiety.   You don’t have to be a fan of his music to stand up and applaud this brotha’s courage.  He could’ve just did this and came back a couple weeks later and THEN told us the real deal.  He hit us with a “Who’s comin with me, Man” from Half Baked and I hope a few of us stood up like the one girl and made that move.

I’ve dealt with, and to a far lesser extent still do, this depression and anxiety stuff before and I can say I’m a better man for admitting it and doing something about it.  Just ask my friends who actually like being around me.  I’ll always be an anxious ball of coolness, but at least my awesome ball isn’t destructive and toxic.  I hope Cudi comes out of treatment in the ball of cool and truth that he knows is in his soul and heart.  Prayers up my brotha.

We all deserve to have peace of mind.

Slow Dancing is Great For Any Couple

Slow dancing isn’t just for Jr. high kids trying to grab butts and rub up against each other.  Slow dancing is super intimate and a great way to break the mood and get all romantic-like with ya boo.  Here are a few webetterthanthat approved songs for certain people and or situations.

If you and your lady both love John Mayer( or only you do and this is the only song she tolerates): John Mayer’s “Slow Dancing (In a Burning Room)” -this is a chill song with a steady vibe and sexy, sexy guitar playing from John Mayer.  It’s got a easy groove to it that makes even the left footed of guy able to stay on beat and slow dance.  plus you got her to listen to John Mayer without taking shit so it’s a win/win.  *Side note for the advanced Mayer fan:  After you get done with “Slow Dancing (In a Burning Room) Play “I’m Gonna Find Another You” and see if she notices lyrics.

If you wear linen suits, Stacy Adams shoes and a bluetooth:  Heatwave-“Always and Forever”-This song is perfect for the 50+ year old black dudes who looks like Melvin from Baby Boy.  “Always and Forever is kinda the perfect slow dancing jam cause you can try to sing along while you’re slow dancing with her and if you’re really bout that life, you can stop dancing and sing to her when the singer starts hitting all the high notes.  If you can’t sing, then DO NOT try this move as it will kill the mood and you’ll end up like Bilal from House Party.  

If your lady is a Metalhead stoner but you still wanna get tender and warm her cold nordic heart: Sunn O)))- “Hunting and Gathering” you both have to be super high for this one.  You throw this bad boy on and slowdance, not only will she think you’re tuff AF, but the sex will be otherworldly, i.e. weird!

If you’re dating a Claire Huxtable type: John Coltrane-“Say it(Over and Over Again)”: Playing Jazz Mood music is a great way to slow dance and John Coltrane made some of the sexiest and smoothest jazz of the post-bob era.  If you play this it has to be on vinyl, nice speakers and you have to kiss her passionately after the song is over.  But if you’re dating a Claire Huxtable type, you gotta be wearing a nice suit, have some expensive champagne and be all super smooth and shit and know how to be romantic while you’re both slow dancing. 

If you and your lady are both pretentious hipsters: Sigur Ros-“(Vaka)”: This song is beautiful with it’s tender piano and made up gibberish love sounding lyrics.  The Criterion version of Godard’s Perriot Le Fou has just finished and instead of watching the bonus features, you decide to share a moment of oneness with your significant other.  You find your “(Vaka)” 7-inch and put it on the record player you got from an old man and his longtime boyfriend of 67 years because they moved to Prague.  You take off her Warby parker clear frames and as the song starts, you gently hold the small of her back, she holds on to your vintage suspenders and you and she become one with the song.  How beautiful.  It’s especially beautiful because you snapchatted the entire dance putting your iphone on a tripod.

If you miss your wife cause she passed away: George Jones- “He Stopped Loving Her Today”- You’re sitting there drinking your whiskey and coke, eating your loose meat sandwich you bought from The Landford Lunchbox and start to cry because you miss your wife of 58 years who died 7 years ago from Pneumonia.  You still have all her clothes hung up in the closet; just as she left them.  You miss her so much that you go to the bedroom and grab that dress she wore when you took her to Paris for the 50th anniversary.  It’s a gorgeous red dress that her friend, Emily made as a gift.

The tears are still running down your face, but a smile fights it’s way thru because you remember that time at the bakery in Paris where you slow danced with her while a Parisian band played a beautiful French ballad and you remember how that dress felt on her body.

So you fold the dress and place it ever so delicately on your arm and walk over to the computer and find her favorite George Jones song and press play.  As you slow dance with the dress, the tears begin to dry up and you can’t help but to smile.  It’s like she’s there with you, if only for a moment.  When the song is over you gently place the dress back on the hanger, hangs it back in the closet and tenderly say “I love you, Lillian”.  

5 Things to Talk About Instead of Sad Shit

Another brotha was killed by the cops in San Diego yesterday.  He had mental health issues and his sister called the cops to help her and him.  Instead of helping him they hit the scene and shot the dude.  

Last week when I was listening to the Bomani Jones Podcast The Right Time and he said he just couldn’t keep lending any new insight about this every time this happens.  It’s tiring and weighs heavy on your brain.  I can’t be constantly sad and irritated; its not good for my well being.  With that said, Here’s some things I’d rather be writing about if the cops would stop shooting black people.

Rob and Blac Chyna broke up:  Last week Soccer moms all around America got together with wine and that weird short bob looking haircut they get in tow and mourned the loss of love.  Brangelina called it quits.  Well this week the millennials have their chance to bring the petty and wonder if Chyna and Rob called it quits.  Apparently, we’re just making mountains out of E!Hills and young love prevails…at least until season 2 starts.

This Trash ass Danny Brown Album:  It has two, maybe 3 good songs and that’s it!  He can rap and he’s from the D so i don’t know what his fuckin problem is.  Danny Brown makes rap for people who don’t like rap.  It sounds like he couldn’t get Flying Lotus to produce the whole album and Danny said “fuck it, I can make it sound like his shit by my damn self.”  This dude got the mighty Alchemist and Black Milk and his shit still sounds like a mishmash of throw up and shitty trap beats.  Nigga we get it, you’re weird!

Steven Universe and ALL the tears:  My brother and my favorite podcast The Read have talked about how this 11 minute cartoon will make dust just appear in the room.  I didn’t believe them…Until, wouldn’t you know it, dust and chopped up onions appear throughout the show and i’m getting emotional over an absurd ass cartoon.  I’m still only on season 1 so I can only imagine the sadd that this cartoon has for me.

The New Mick Jenkins album The Healing Component:  This album is amazing, lyrically musically and in concept.  He’s spittin that positivity without sounding like a cornball brotha and that’s hard to do.  This album is the antithesis of that shitty Danny Brown album.  

All pumpkin everything:  I am here for the fall pumpkin takeover.  Gimme dat pumpkin spice latte and a pumpkin scone to go!  I get it.  White girls love pumpkins and fall and uggs and shit, but the pumpkin what’s everyone to enjoy her orangey greatness.  I wish they would make sweet potato spice everything tho.

See, now i’m still in a happy mood and can enjoy my breakfast burrito without being stressed out and hating the world the rest of the day.  Believe me tho, i’m not giving up.  My voice against the bullmess isn’t going anywhere.  Sometime a brotha just gotta try and find reasons to smile thru the pain.