Now that black love prevailed it’s time for the reception to begin. Some great moments in wedding history happened and I gotta let yall know about the highlights of the fun night that was the Crook wedding reception. Once again, congratulations and I am proud to have been apart of the beautiful day. But enough of that sappy-ness cause that’s not why I’m here so let’s get to it.
The greatest wedding speeches happened that night: So we were still figuring out who’s gonna go in what order. We figured Ray’s older brother, Bryan, should go first because he’s gonna speak from the heart and it’s gonna be all beautiful and stuff. So brotha Bryan get’s up there and damn near had the whole joint in tears. Ray’s his lil brother and, just as we suspected, Bryan definitely spoke from the heart. It was short, to the point and sweet. I can’t say the same for the rest of the final 3 groomsmen. First up, my twin brother Dominique Johnson.
Dominique is an LA comic who think he’s funnier than Aziz Ansari, Eddie Murphy and Tim Barry all put together so we knew his speech was gonna be funny. He proceeded to pretty much do a 4-5 min set about Ray making a list about who he likes more, Nikki or Tupac. It was brilliant because brotha Ray does love Tupac. The best part was everyone finally was able to hear the story about how Ray wanted to get drunk and we all just go in a corner and write. When Dominique’s speech was over, the photographer said, “so do we got a two drink minimum, I didn’t know it was comedy night.” In jest, of course but still unexpected to the whole crowd who has no Idea who we are.
Up next was Justin. Justin had been saying for a couple weeks that he wanted to roast Ray for his speech. Although Justin didn’t go all Jeff Ross the Roastmaster General on the whole operation and be super mean he did share some anecdotes that only he and Ray knew about growing up across the street from each other as kids. It definitely had heart but also some damning, yet amusing stories about Ray, especially the story about Ray teaching Justin how to drive stick at 2 in the morning. Justin’s timing was right on time and it was great to get insight into a young Ray.
In between Dominique and Justin’s speeches, two of Nikki’s bridesmaids got up there and said some of the prettiest speeches ever. They started crying cause they love each other and all that wonderful stuff. We got up there and just wanted to joke on Ray like we do on a daily basis. It was a good mix between sincerity and shit talking that just worked. And then it was my turn.
I told ray 2 weeks ago that I wanted to sing “Queen to Be” from the 1988 movie Coming to America. In that scene a portly gentleman gets up while prince akeem is to be married and just belts out “Sheees yoooourr queeeen to Bee” in the highest falsetto ever. We told Nikki that I wanted to do it and she was game. The day came and I told Ray’s sisters during breakfast that I wanted to do that for my speech and they thought it was such a good idea. There was no pussin out now. Too many people knew and they also know how I can shrink in a large crowd. But it was my turn to deliver. I stood up, walked to the center where Ray and Nikki were sitting, cleared my throat and just went for it. I couldn’t remember the lines so i had written them down and it was the most nerve wrecking think i’ve done since playing John Mellencamp in the IPS Elementary School 90 play about famous people from Indiana. I was visibly shaking but the fact that the crowd started clapping I knew I had made the right decision.
I was in a room full of black folks and if any room would appreciate this ridiculous moment in wedding history it would be this room. Hearing Ray and Nikki laugh was the best and validated my crazy idea of singing instead of talking. Also, to be clear, I CANNOT sing a lick but that made it all the better.
Now that all that formality was out of the way, it’s time to party!
Time to dance: So everyone was getting drunk and having fun but something was missing. What wedding would be complete without some dancing. The kids started it off with this whip/nae nae stuff which was totes adorbs. Kudos to the kids, but the old man in me came out and requested a song. I played R. Kelly’s “Step in the Name of Love” and I believe one of Ray’s sisters yelled out “Let’s get a soul train line goin.” That soul train line was LIT! We was clownin, hittin that two step and just laughing and having a good time. Then Justin said to play The 69 boyz “toosie roll” jam and it was on! The adults took over the dancery. Emily told us to play Drake so we put on “Hotline Bling”and I’ve never seen Ray really bust a move in my life but that brotha broke out that “Drake hittin the tennis balls” gif move and we bout died. Big Butts were shaking and we were having a ball!
Quote of the Year: So things are winding down and everyone’s figuring out our next move. There’s smatterings of some karaoke action. I ask Ray if he wanna go hit some Karaoke with us. He told me “Naw Homie, I’m wanna go smash.” to which I reply, “You can smash later come kick it for a bit.” My brotha then hit me with “Imma smash now and then smash later” and chucked the deuces! I put my hands in the air and just laughed. Raymond J was ready to just hang out with his new beautiful bride and dammit who could blame ‘em?
Playing my small part in this wedding made me care more about love. It reminded me why all my favorite movies are sappy love flicks and why I can’t get enough of those r&b love songs from back in the day. Love is the truth. Love is what we all want. Love is hard; any newly married couple or veterans in the love game can attest to this. But what I do know is love is the best and we can all hope to have a love as strong as the Crooks.
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