So last week was quite the emotional time. I was a wreck all a week. Luckily Pokemon Go hit the streets over the weekend. I’m sure, for most, Pokemon Go gave people a fun outlet from the fuckery. I’m sad to say I was not one of those people. I’m not gonna call people losers or whatever just cause they wanna play a dumb game on their phone. I listen to Podcasts at least 3hrs or more a day and I’m sure there are alot of folks who think that’s beyond lame. Live ya life. But when you leave the bar and dart out only to emerge and proclaim to the whole bar “I finally got a Pikachu” you know it’s already getting out of control. And that actually happened at Casey’s Saturday Afternoon.
Do I get the appeal? Sure, It’s a worldwide Pop Culture phenomenon as big as Drake and Rihanna on tour with Spice Girls and white girls with fat asses put together and people wanna be apart of that. The mighty American Hero John Mayer plays it so it must be the hype shit. There’s also the social element. There was a massive Pokemon Go event at Tempe Town Lake here in AZ with thousands of attendees. I like to believe there was alot of cool parents with their crazy kids runnin around catching Bulbasaurs and Jigglypuffs together as a family, but I’m sure it was more like a bunch of 20 something drunk and high folks running around falling to get that Charzard. If I was with my niece and she wanted to kick it with Uncle I’d download Pokemon Go in a heartbeat and giggle and act crazy with her. We’d have all the fun.
As much as I wanna talk shit about this game and those who play it, I can’t bring myself to do it. If it was a RapStars Go or a Beer-centric game with the same concept I’d be all for it and i’m sure a bunch of my friends would too, so why would I make fun of come people who just wanna have social fun. So I gave it a shot today. I need to know what it’s all about. If I see my favorite Pokemon, Squirtle will I get all giggly and run super fast to catch em?
I started the game at 8am before I hit the gym. When I tried to set up my Pokemon Go account I saw they wanted my Gmail. NAW Homie! You can’t get that Mr. Nintendo, but I will make a new Google account that will never be used again so let’s get it crackin. This weirdo dude holding Pokeball with a yoga mat on his back and some Yeezy black and neon green colorways told me Pokemon are everywhere. He talk too damn much! I choose the lady Pokemon hunter cause I believe in equality. I fux with lady Ghostbusters and whatnot. I made my Pokemon girl look like a hypebeast but she stay woke! So before I hit the gym there were three different Pokemon I could get and I grabbed me a Charzard cause it was the closest. I threw my mighty Pokeball at the beast and captured him like a good Pokemon hunter is want to do. I felt like the black Ash Ketchum, Cornillus Ketchum. The tall yoga instructor told me good job and then said I’d have to to walk around searching for new Pokemon…and that’s when I knew I was done. I have to walk around like a dum dum staring at my phone and not my environs and suddenly stop to catch em all? No thank you, sir or ma’am. I’ll just got hit these weights and take my ass to work.
As I’m writing this in the night time, I reopened the game and saw there was some sort of scary lookin Pokemon up the street and I’m just not willing to make that sojourn to get this flying monster. Beyond my laziness, I feel like a total dweeb walking around my neighborhood, staring down at my phone for seemingly no reason. I have TV shows to watch and Pabst to drink. I’m pretty much done with this game and positive I won’t open it again, just like snapchat.
I will say tho, I get the appeal. If I was a younger fella I’d be all about this game; it seems fun. I can see how you could get with some friends and make a day of it, exploring your neighborhood or city and just being a cool dweeb looking down at your phone for seemingly no reason. If you have a child or babysittin’ it can be a fun bonding experience as well. I’m sure If I didn’t give up on the game so quickly I’d prolly get more into it, but truth is my anxiety won’t let me play a game where I’m seemingly acting so bizarre around strangers. But to everyone else enjoying the game I say Godspeed You! Pikachu Chaser! Don’t let a bunch of people who take themselves so seriously to make you have to defend your new passion. Now use your water type Blastoise to eff up that punk ass Charzard cause Water Pokemon are stronger against Fire Pokemon, Ya’ll! FYI, My favorite Pokemon back in the day was Psyduck and Wigglytuff cause that’s how I rolled. Machamp and Geodude was cool too. I even saw the Pokemon movie with Mewtwo TWICE! Look, not everyone came out the womb cool as shit jammin Nick Cave albums and having conversations about The Wire. Get it how you live and Prepare for Trouble. Make it Double! One last thing and imma bounce. As a brotha who is all about anime, if they made this same game and it was a Dragonball Z Go game, I’d be writing about how I lost my job cause my Freiza was going against a dude at work’s Super Sayian Vegeta and yelled “Fuck Work, This is HAPPENING” as I rip off my shirt.
WeBetterThanThat 